whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
