The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
