Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize