just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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