I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
