so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize