dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
