I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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