carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
