i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
