Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
