Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
