I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
