i already hear my dad disowning me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
