They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I have post one night stand depression
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize