thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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