WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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