how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
