i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
