my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
