tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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