I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Enjoy the penises
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
