My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
