i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
