mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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