So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize