So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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