just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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