If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
