I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize