I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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