i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
