Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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