Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am naked and annoyed.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize