it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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