Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
