Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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