please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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