I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
