The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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