I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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