Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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