do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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