did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
