i think i have two assholes
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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