dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I didn't notice because vodka
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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