So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize