I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
