Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
