Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
