My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize