There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
