Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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