Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
