I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
