he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
