so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
