how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
