Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize