did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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