I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
