Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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