Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
