There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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