Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
