if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
