She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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