I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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