in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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