i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
