Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
