The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
